is in the water today?!?!?!?

EVERYONE is in a bad mood and its really pissing me off even worse.

SHIT, can’t everyone just chill the fuck out?

Have you ever been stuck between one place and another? Man, I hate being sick.

I’m at the point in my sickness where I’d love to be either sicker or all better. I hate this 1/2 inbetween shit. You feel miserable just enough to NOT want to do anything, but good enough to have things you want to accomplish.

I have laundry to do, more homework to finish, more chapters to read, floors to sweep & mop, beds to make, trash to take out, food to cook & holy hell…I don’t wanna do any of it.  All I really wanna do is crawl into bed & pass out.  But I don’t even feel bad enough to do that.

I’d love it if the meds would just kick the hell in and I’d feel better.

1. Ventolin
2. Promethazine w/Codeine
3. Methylprednisolone
4. Singulair
5. Azithromycin
6. Maxifed DMX

That there is the list of ’scripts I was given today by the Urgent Care MD because little old me has pneumonia.  Yep, its fun times in the hacienda now!!

So last night I was having a coughing fit and couldn’t fall asleep for crap.  I tossed, I turned, I got up, I paced, I took a bath, I sat, I laid down again, I went potty, I put in yet another movie, I took more OTC meds (which did jack…), I panicked because my heart was racing, I coughed some more, I wheezed.

I think you get the point.  I was miserable.  So when I got about…oh 4.5 hours of sleep and woke up this AM, I had had enough.  And those of you who know me…know I NEVER take care of myself.  I usually only go to the doctor if I am immobile or near death.

I think I felt near death this morning, cause I made the appointment and actually went.

So now its take the meds (and YUCK to the prednisone pills…holy HELL the inventor of that shit should be shot dead cause that shit tastes AWFUL!!) and try to keep warm & in bed as best I can (which is damn near impossible for me).

I was told to stay home from school, especially since its cold & rainy, but having missed 2 4-class days & now 4 1-class days (and I missed a serious Anthro lecture last Friday which SUCKS cause he went over all the 14C dating stuff….CRAP!!) I can’t miss anymore.  So I am determined to go to school tomorrow (pretty much just for Anthro…I love that class and besides, we’re finishing up our lecture on Evolution…GO DARWIN!!)

Hopefully I’ll feel better soon.

…and I have OCD.

What is OCD, you ask?  It’s Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  Basically…I obsess over EVERYTHING.

It is now approximately 1:50AM and I can’t sleep.  The reasons vary from:  I feel like crap, the house is a mess, I’m convinced I have Early Onset Alzheimers, I’m going to flunk out of college, my children are tree sloths, I have no more snow, my pets irritate me & I have to go to the bathroom.

I can take care of the latter, so hold on one second.

OK, I’m back.

My parents, sibs and friends who knew me when I was younger can tell you that way back when…I didn’t obsess over jack.  Well…I obsessed over the typical shit.  Does so-and-so like me?  Do I look fat in this?  Is my hair alright?  Will my Mom let me go out this weekend?  How can I sneak out this weekend since my Mom won’t let me go out?

Now?  I am constantly perched on edge waiting for the proverbial “other shoe” to drop.  Seriously.

I’m waiting for the day that I finally have a migraine & when they do the umteenth MRI, they discover I have a “brain cloud”.  That I’ve been diagnosed with the latest “designer” disease and have…oh, say…10 minutes left to live.  That because I failed to tell each child that “I love them” 20 times today, one will ultimately turn out to be a serial killer…and start with killing off me.  That because I blew off a 2 page history paper on a Confederate Flag debate (over which…since I am a true-blue Southerner…I love the Rebel Flag…I cannot share my true opinions any longer because we’re such a tight-ass PC society & I am an outcast within my own family because of my personal political beliefs…I will be deemed a Racist Bigot…even though nothing can be further from the truth & be exiled to Elba) I will now, not only flunk History, I am going to flunk out of this semester and drop out of school…even though this is only week 3 and I was Dean’s Listed last semester.

This is just the tip of the iceburg, I am seriously screwed up. I worry about serious shit all the time as well as the petty crap.

Am I really doing the best I can with my children and raising them right so that they are not a drain on society?  Am I the best daughter I can be?  What can I do to be a better sister to Bubba & Kat?  Why is it so very hard for me to let go of the fact that the house has NOT been vacuumed today?  Why do I have to triple check all the locks on the doors?  Why is my asthma acting up so badly as of late?  Holy crap, my hair is falling out…aside from the fact that I KNOW I have grey hair.  I’ve had a stroke once (albeit a Migraine induced one), when will the next one be?  And will I recover from that one, or will it take me in the prime of my life?  Why is it so hard for me to prioritize my homework?  Why do I insist on helping out so many people, when I’m constantly getting the shaft from the same folks?

Did I remember to feed the rabbit today?

So here I sit, lonely at my desk at, now 2:11AM.  I have read all I needed to for Anthro, History & English.  Done my Math homework.  I’ve checked on all the pets.  Made sure the kids clothes are out for school in the morning.  And oh yeah…am rewatching “A New Hope” for the bazillionth time (because…well, Jedi’s ROCK!!).

Everyone is snoozing except for me.  Even the hyper-ass kitten.  I’ve got a wicked ass headache brewing & my stomach is churning like Niagara Falls.

Worry has set itself squarely upon my shoulders and I’ll be damned if I know how to get rid of it.  If only there were some magic pill to help rid me of this affliction, I’d take it in a heart beat.  But with my luck side effects may include:  “nausea, vomiting, headaches, heartburn, hair loss, diarrhea, dry mouth, water retention, painful rectal itch, hallucination, dementia, psychosis, coma, death, halitosis, lung cancer, mental retardation, brain tumors, paralyzation, sleep loss, internal bleeding, internal combustion, a sudden craving to sniff your carpet, an addiction to cocaine, heroin, PCP, speed and Windex, bone weakening, claustrophobia, acne, playing Everquest II, regular PMS, making Jesus cry, the inability to use proper english in an online environment, homosexuality, AIDS, an urge to stab your spouse, inability to breathe oxygen, urge to watch the Chinese version of Friends, migraines, diabetes, deafness, and of course, the inability to speak properly” (Tim Turner, Corey Cooper)

Great…more shit to worry about.

Since I’m at a loss for words today with my children…this comes to you compliments of George Sidney (director), Michael Stewart (author) and the musical writings of Charles Strouse & Lee Adams….beautifully performed by Maureen Stapleton, Paul Lynde, Dick Van Dyke & Bryan Russell from the 1963 iconic film Bye Bye Birdie.

KIDS

Kids!
I don’t know what’s wrong with these kids today!

Kids!
Who can understand anything they say?

Kids!
They are disobedient, disrespectful oafs!
Noisy, crazy, dirty, lazy, loafers!

While we’re on the subject:

Kids!
You can talk and talk till your face is blue!

Kids!
But they still will do what they want to do!

Why can’t they be like we were,
Perfect in every way?
What’s the matter with kids today?

Kids!
I’ve tried to raise them the best I could.
Laughing, singing, dancing, grinning, morons!

And while we’re on the subject!

Kids!
They are just impossible to control!

Kids!
With their awful clothes and their rock ‘n’ roll!

Why can’t they dance like we did?
What’s wrong with Danny Kane?

What’s the matter with kids today?

…that I love the cold so much, but it ain’t all that crazy about me?

I suppose its because we rarely get snow here and when we do…we act like ninnies. Well, I know I did. And I’m sure that if we lived closer to Canada and got snow on a regular basis…my body wouldn’t react so heinously to my beloved white stuff.

So here I lay in bed…feeling like death warmed over. Literally. I couldn’t sleep at all and when I did manage to catch a rare “zzzzz” I wake up to a sneezing fit.

Oh and lets not forget the yakking incident at 3 & again at 3:30. Have I mentioned I don’t like to yak?

Anywho…I feel rotten. Really rotten. Although all this time in bed is giving me the time to rewatch my Star Wars ORIGINAL trilogy again. Maybe up next is an LOTR marathon.

Anywho….I think I might hurl again. And I know there are another billion sneezes locked up in my sinuses just BEGGING to come out. Didn’t I mention I don’t like to hurl?

Pardon me whilst I go die. Make sure my kids clean their rooms, will ya?

To her cake.

Happy 28th Birthday to my baby sister, Kathleen Ann Taylor.

There may be many miles that separate us, lots of time has passed, but I have never stopped loving you or being proud to have you as my sister.

I wish you’d call more often, I wish you’d let go of your hurt, I can only hope that in time…you will. Until then, I’ll be waiting.

I love you, Kathe.  Have a blessedly beautiful birthday.

Eternal Big Sister Love,

and ye shall receive.

Do you know what that is?!?!?!?  And I am getting up to 6″ of the blessed white stuff.  So I’ll possibly have to shovel the front walk.  So the kids won’t be in school.  So I’ll have to run the dryer 24/7.  So everyone’s skin will have a delicious piggy pink hue.

I can deal with that.

Bring on the SHUSH of snow.  Mommy likey!

Well, we all knew we’d get to this place eventually.  Its sad, I know.  I feel like having Frankie Sinatra sing, “…and now…the end is near….and so we face…that final curtain…”

No…No one is dying.  Its just the end of my beloved football season.  How did it come to this?  NO MANNINGS?!?!?  Did someone forget to carry a 1 somewhere??  I mean….the baddest boys (albeit the funniest, cutest, and smartest) guys in the game will be sitting home watching the Super Bowl on their Gonormous 3000 (complete with surround sound & rumble paks at no extra charge) watching the:

Did anyone else see such retched putrescence when the season started?!?!?!?  I know I didn’t.  In fact I was still giddy over the idea that I’d get to see Brett Favre in them tight pants one more time. 

Anywho…its not like I’m interested.  I won my Fantasy League Superbowl weeks ago.  So what do I care?  And I live in Raleigh…right now the Panthers are NOT a good thing to talk about.  Miami used to be my hometown…and they did some good this season…but not good enough to make anything happen.  And just because I used to live in Los Angeles does NOT make me part of the TRAITOR NATION.  Hell no.  Case closed.  End of story.

I always dread this time of year.  You see, I love football.  Its a way cool sport.  And I can have it on in the background and do homework/housework and still keep up to date on all the cool shit happening.  And at the end…its really sad.  I have to wait through the rainy spring, the melt-your-tennis’-to-the-pavement-summer, and the holy-crap-when-is-it-going-to-get-cold-again-fall.  Just so I can have my football.

And on that note…I guess its time to get off my ass, get some laundry done, clean up  my house & get ready for school tomorrow.

God, I hope it snows.